


Be Safe

by gleeksfreaksandwannabes



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is Hurt, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Magnus is Panicking, Worried Lightwood siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 14:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7175444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gleeksfreaksandwannabes/pseuds/gleeksfreaksandwannabes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was something Alec and Magnus had always said to each other, but it isn't until Magnus has to face his fear of losing the one he loves that it becomes a more important ritual than ever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Safe

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so I just wanted to thank you all for your kudos and bookmarks and lovely messages, and I thought I'd post another Malec rambling of mine!  
> If it looks familiar, you might have seen it on fanfiction . net under the author RomioneAlways51, that's also me, I thought I'd transfer my Shadowhunters/Mortal Instruments stories over here!  
> You can find me on tumblr [here!](http://gleeksfreaksandwannabes.tumblr.com/)

_"Be safe,"_

_"Always am,"_

It had become a sort of ritual between himself and Magnus whenever Alec went out on a mission; Jace had always thought it was ridiculous to voice something that was a given, but it had been a source of comfort for the couple each time Alec left and, as he lay on the cold concrete of a building complex watching Jace pace in front of him on the phone as he fought for consciousness, he focused on the memory.

_Alec was going out on one of his first missions after moving in with Magnus when the warlock had said it for the first time,_

_"Be safe,"_

_"What?" Alec had blinked, turning at the door to face his boyfriend._

_"I said be safe," Magnus repeated "on the mission,"_

_"Yeah I know, but-- why?" he watched Magnus' face fall almost sympathetically as he got up from the couch and approached him,_

_"Alexander," his voice was gentle and apologetic, almost as if he couldn't believe Alec was asking "My Alexander, I say it because you are so painfully mortal," he was standing before Alec now, gently brushing his fringe from his forehead "you risk your life every day fighting demons, and I-- I worry you each time you leave that you won't come home." Alec remembered the way his stomach had convulsed guiltily at the heartache in Magnus' eyes; he had never been this open with Alec until that moment, never this vulnerable. Magnus, who was the most powerful warlock in New York, who had lived for hundreds of years and would live for hundreds more after Alec was gone, who had been with countless people and would be with countless more, was so concerned for his safety, so broken at the thought of losing him, Alec couldn't understand it._

_"It's my job," he got out; he hadn't meant to be so blunt, but this, being with Magnus, having someone care about him enough to tell him to be safe, it was all new to him. Fighting demons, working together, having your fellow shadowhunter's back, that was the kind of care he had known; protection and brotherhood, not love._

_"I know Alexander," Magnus had said gently "and I wouldn't ask you to give it up for anything, but that doesn't stop me from being worried about you," Alec had felt a warmth rise in his chest that had never been there before, the only time he had felt something similar was when Magnus had kissed him for the first time; he had felt a warmth spread through his system as Magnus had pulled him into his arms, despite their height difference, and held him tight against his chest. He had felt protected and loved then, just as he was at that moment, it was a welcome change to the coldness that had passed for love his whole life. Alec pursed his lips after allowing a small smile to slip onto his face,_

_"No one's ever worried about me like that before," Magnus had laughed then, a gentle chuckle as he stood on his toes to put a hand around the back of Alec's neck, his thumb just in front of his ear as he pecked his cheek,_

_"I will always worry about you, my Alexander..."_

 

In his four hundred and something years of life, Magnus had never felt such anxiety clawing at his chest as he did the moment Jace, Isabelle and Clary burst into the institute infirmary carrying Alec's limp body. Jace had carried the bulk of Alec's weight, with Clary helping as best she could, and when they set him down Magnus' heartbeat quickened as he saw that Jace's chest and arms were drenched in blood, and he prayed to any and all of their angels that it wasn't Alec's.

"Magnus!" Jace's voice snapped him out of his stupor. He was surprisingly calm, but the way his voice shook told Magnus the damage was worse than he had thought "We can call someone else, you don't have to do this," Magnus looked from Jace - his gold eyes piercing Magnus', to Isabelle - the poor girl was beside herself, her wide eyes, shining with tears, on her brother as she gripped his hand -- he brought himself to look at Alec then; his pale face, around the same color as the the bedsheets, contorted in anguish as he groaned in pain -- Magnus forced his eyes to travel down to Alec's chest; his normally chiseled torso was slashed deeply with three parallel wounds, all seeping out scarlet blood, the color that had drained from his boyfriend's face. After an agonizing moment, Magnus made his hands steady and turned to Jace, cursing himself for the quiver in his voice,

"No. I'll do it," it was all he could get out without fear of his voice breaking, and an agonizing yell from Alec and a cry from Isabelle lurched him into action. It was as if Magnus was on autopilot, save for his hands shaking, as he conjured all the strength within him and channeled it into his fingers, hovering them over Alec's torso as the shadowhunter screamed at the blue flame that was seeping into his wounds. Magnus blinked at hot tears and the accursed glitter assaulting his eyes as he worked, doing his best to block out Alec's cries of agony and ignore his siblings and Clary, who watched anxiously behind him. The wounds began to close on Alec's body as he convulsed in pain, and Magnus turned to Jace as he worked,

"Hold him still!" his voice has come out strained, and his throat ached from the tears he was forcing inside, but it was all he could do to focus on anything but the agony his boyfriend was in, and the ache it was causing in his own chest. Jace was at Alec's side in an instant, gripping his shoulders tightly as Alec fought with all his might against him.

Finally, mercifully, Magnus was done, and with a final lurch of his hands and Alec's body, he stopped, his shoulders slumping as he watched Alec laying weak on the bed. Isabelle was at his side, grasping his hand and speaking desperately to him, not that Magnus could hear over his heavy breathing as he stared at Alec, unable to stop his hands from shaking.

"Alec, stay with us, you need to stay awake, OK? Alec please--!"

"Magnus!" Clary's shrill voice snapped Magnus out of his trance, and he saw that Isabelle was looking frantically from him to Alec as the boy began to succumb to exhaustion "He's passing out!"

"Alexander!" Magnus was dimly surprised at how fast he had moved, slipping beside Jace to take a place at Alec's head, but his attention was focused on Alec as the shadowhunter's eyes began to close "Alec-- no, stay with me--" his hand was on Alec's cheek now, but it was no use; Alec's head had rolled to the side as he passed out, unconscious on the palm of Magnus' hand as the warlock let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"He'll be alright-- Magnus? Won't he?" Isabelle was panicking again, and Magnus was grateful when Jace put a comforting hand on her shoulder as he repositioned Alec's head on the pillow,

"Of course," he hoped that no one saw through his facade as he tried with all his might to keep his voice steady, but a look from Clary told him it was no use,

"Maybe we should give him some space to recover," she said kindly, taking Isabelle's hand and offering a small Magnus a smile "come on Iz, I'll make you some tea,"

 

Over the next day or so Magnus had refused to leave Alec's bed in the corner of the infirmary at the institute, simply sitting in the uncomfortable chair beside him, holding his hand gently and waiting for him to wake up. He had put on a smile when Jace, Isabelle or Alec's parents came to visit and, should they ask how Alec was, he would tell them he was simply resting. Clary hadn't been so easy to fool; perhaps it was because she had grown up as a mundane and saw people's emotions more clearly than shadowhunters, or she knew how people were when loved ones were ill. Regardless, Magnus found he had to work twice as hard to evade her gentle pressing questions or her knowing looks, he had to fight to keep himself together as she put a hand over his before she left each time she visited, he had to use almost all the energy he had left to convince her that everything would be okay.

As the days passed, however, Magnus knew Alec's unresponsiveness wasn't a good sign for his recovery, and it was one night around a week after the incident that Magnus finally allowed it to sink in.

Alec wasn't waking up; Magnus' magic hadn't healed him. Not completely.

He was dying.

If he didn't wake up soon, he never would.

The thought hit Magnus like ice straight to the chest, the cold realization washing over him, and suddenly he felt as if he was drowning, pressed down by the weight of his emotion, the utter heartache and devastation at the mere thought of Alec losing his life was enough to close off Magnus' air passages, and he coughed a little before gripping Alec's hand tighter,

"Alexander, please," he never begged; he hadn't needed to, being the High Warlock of Brooklyn, but when it came to Alec, _his Alec_ , he was just Magnus. He was simply a man sitting beside a hospital bed, gripping the hand of the man he loved, begging him to hold on.

He had had many a lover over the centuries, had experienced more heartbreaks than he cared to admit, but by far the worst thing Magnus had ever encountered in his long life was the death of a loved one; friend or lover, having to watch each person he had cared about pass away and somehow move on was like one heartache after another. Seeing the people he was closest to take their final breath and knowing in the pit of his stomach that he was doomed to continue living long after they were gone felt impossible, and Magnus had experienced each excruciating impossibility, one after the other, for years.

But Alec... _his Alec_... Magnus had fallen for him faster than he had fallen for any of his previous partners; there was something different about the stupid nephilim who got around in moth-eaten sweaters and who stumbled over his words when Magnus complimented him, even now. He hadn't believed in true love or any of those cliches until he had met Alec, centuries of experience had told him love was a painful fallacy mundanes used to escape the fear of being alone, but when he had met the shadowhunter everything was different. He was so pure, so innocent and uncertain, but so powerful and enchanting at the same time, Magnus hadn't been able to keep his eyes off him, and when they actually met, Magnus had allowed himself to believe in the mundane notion of love because, with Alec, it was real.

But now, as the possibility of losing Alec hit him square in the face like an icy blast, Magnus found fear encroaching on him, clawing at his chest and squeezing at his throat before he could stop it. Losing Alec was inevitable, some voice in the back of his head said -- Magnus was immortal and he was mortal, it was a tragic given, but Magnus had foolishly allowed himself to believe it wouldn't happen for years-- not now, not when they were both so happy together...

It was as if the fear was suffocating him, cutting off all circulation to his brain and blocking all rational thought as he watched Alec's chest barely rising and falling; he couldn't die, not Alec, not the one man Magnus had truly allowed himself to fall in love with! Even after all the deaths Magnus had experienced in his lifetime, the mere thought of Alec's passing had turned his blood cold, his hands clammy and his heartbeat into a jackhammer -- he couldn't bear it.

"Alexander,” his voice was detached, as if he hadn't been conscious of moving his mouth to speak "Alexander please, you can't do this-- not now-- you have so many years left, my Alexander," he was rambling, he knew it, just like he knew Alec probably couldn't hear him, or feel the way he gripped his hand desperately, but something in his heart told him it didn't matter; Alec would hear him. He had to...

 

"Magnus?"

He hadn't thought he would be able to sleep - he hadn't for the week since Alec's accident, but exhaustion must have taken him, for his eyes were lead-heavy as he tried to peel them open, and not just from the makeup. He had to wake up though, because he had heard it, so quiet it might have been a dream had Magnus not been so desperate to hear it; Alec's voice, harsh from lack of use and sleep, saying his name and pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Alexander!" it had come out as a sob, but Magnus knew Alec wouldn't mind, and before he could stop himself he was throwing himself into Alec's arms, pulling away bashfully as the shadowhunter groaned in pain,

"Sorry," Alec mumbled "it's still sore,"

"Understandable," Magnus' voice was rough too, and he swallowed thickly before speaking again "that demon almost killed you, Alec," Alec's eyes softened as they caught sight of the mixture of worry and relief in Magnus' own, and he reached out his hand as a kind of grounding for the warlock, which he gladly took,

"I know," the shadowhunter sighed "I'm sorry. I messed up, I didn't see it coming--"

"Don't apologize, my love," Magnus shook his head, tears glistening in his eyes "I'm just glad you're alright. If I had lost you..." he dropped his gaze, and Alec felt an ache in his chest at his boyfriend's disheveled appearance; his hair was almost entirely deflated, lifeless as its owner, his clothes looked like they had been slept in for days, and his eyes - the black mascara had smudged around his eyes, as if he had been punched, and the glitter he had used under his eyes was smeared down his cheeks, probably from his tears, Alec realized with a twinge of his stomach.

"Come here," Alec moved over in the bed with some effort, opening his arms and wrapping them protectively around the warlock as Magnus sat beside him and curled into his side. His torso still ached, but he didn't care; all that mattered was Magnus, his Magnus, so afraid of the inevitable... and it was inevitable, but that didn't matter now, they couldn't think about it.

"It's alright," Alec hushed him, stroking the outside of his bicep with light fingertips "we don't have to worry about that. I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere,"

 


End file.
